We found Cancer

March 8, 2011

If you are my friend and you are reading this and you haven't heard from me...I think writing this down is going to be a lot easier for me at this point and time.  This is not something I thought I would share online.  But what the heck!  My life is an open book and if I can reach one person my job is successful.  A little over a week ago I found a lump in my breast.  I checked my breast from the advice of a Brea Nelson who I met a month ago on February 10.  She told me and everyone else in the room "give yourself a breast exam"!  I took this to heart and I found a rather large lump a couple weeks later.  Right under my nipple.  I called my doctor and went in to see him yesterday.  He tried to extract it and nothing came out but he did get a little piece of tissue.

March 9, 2011
We scheduled an ultrasound today because they wanted to get a better look at what was going on.  I thought it was going to be a 20 minute ordeal.  They would tell me that it was a cyst and send me on my way.  After an hour and fifteen minutes and being checked by an ultrasound tech and the head of radiology they were not so optimistic.  They said it could be cancer but they were not sure so we needed to schedule a biopsy asap.  At this point I hear the word cancer and I can't help but think nothing but the worst.  I don't remember much of what they said after this point. 

I had to take the girls to dance right after my ultrasound and at one point of watching them dance I got a little teary eyed.  What if I never get to see Olivia dance? 

Right after I scheduled my biopsy I got a call from my doctor late in the day.  Dr. Kirsch didn't have the best of news.  The tissue he extracted from my breast tested positive for cancer.  Of course he didn't know what stage or any of the specifics that a biopsy can read but he was almost positive I had cancer.  My mind went blank and tears started to fall from my eyes.  All I could think about was Olivia and Steve.  Then I thought about Cullen, Avery, Addison, Sully and the rest of my family.  How was I going to break the news to them.

I was actually composed when I called my sister and started to explain what was going on but when I tried to spit out the words "I have cancer"  I was almost to the point of hyperventilation.  She got off the phone and rushed back home.  The second person I called was my mom and she was shocked but calm and said we can fight it!  The third person and my most dreaded call was Steve.  I was actually composed, very positive and was thinking a little more clearly at this point.  I had some time to digest what was happening.  Of course he was shocked and reassured me that he would be by my side every step of the way. 

March 9, 2011
Steve drove home so he could be with me for my biopsy with Dr. Grange.  I like Dr. Grange because she has completely focused her career to breast cancer after losing her sister to breast cancer over 20 years ago.  She is attentive and answered all our questions.  She explained everything she was going to do before and during the procedure so I was comfortable the entire time.  She even said she would have our results by Friday so we wouldn't have to wait over the weekend.

If you are a female reading this or a male with a mother, sister, wife, daugther, aunt...PLEASE tell them to get a mammogram.  If not right away give themselves a self breast exam to find any lumps.